well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
