oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize