I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
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