talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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