I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Church boner. Awkwardddd
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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