Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
