you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks