So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
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All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
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Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.