The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
My balls are so social today.
These 17 People Made Horrible Decisions That Ruined Their Lives
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.