I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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