we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
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I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
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It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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