At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
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i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
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If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Randomize
