You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize