i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
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