Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one