I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
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I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
What is this nonsense on the table
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
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I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.