glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
