dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I will be naked everywhere
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
