If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
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