i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Randomize
