Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
