first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Just pee around me
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Randomize
