As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
