It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
