were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
