he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
