My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
