so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
