yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
