apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize
