My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
