Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
