i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
