Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
