ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
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