Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
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