I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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