So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Randomize
