I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
