My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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