Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
my being single is dangerous.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
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She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
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Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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