Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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