? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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