hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
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