i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
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