actually, I'm a sock model
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Cover your peen. We're going out.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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