Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Randomize
