I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize