Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Be still, my beating vagina.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
NoShamevember. You game?
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Randomize
