I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
