I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
