you mean i was at the winter classic?
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
