I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
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