Texts From Last Night

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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.

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  (919): I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here. http://tfl.nu/lixe
  Replies (35) Good night (1642) Bad night (612)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.

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  (651): I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex. http://tfl.nu/qzkm
  Replies (7) Good night (3068) Bad night (390)
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  (830): View more from Texas

  Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas

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  (830): Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas http://tfl.nu/3mgi
  Replies (9) Good night (916) Bad night (2836)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.

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  (616): You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races. http://tfl.nu/trt2
  Replies (6) Good night (2849) Bad night (976)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.

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  (815): just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet. http://tfl.nu/j91e
  Replies (7) Good night (3303) Bad night (1012)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us

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  (785): your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us http://tfl.nu/mks6
  Replies (18) Good night (3940) Bad night (877)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life

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  (816): he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life http://tfl.nu/u0np
  Replies (13) Good night (2425) Bad night (2432)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice

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  (954): I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice http://tfl.nu/nj79
  Replies (5) Good night (1417) Bad night (676)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.

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  (703): I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face. http://tfl.nu/cgkz
  Replies (16) Good night (639) Bad night (2751)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.

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  (515): If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face. http://tfl.nu/ob45
  Replies (6) Good night (810) Bad night (361)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house

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  (503): Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house http://tfl.nu/makx
  Replies (5) Good night (833) Bad night (351)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him

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  (704): i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him http://tfl.nu/hqgs
  Replies (1) Good night (656) Bad night (271)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving

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  (413): i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving http://tfl.nu/3k7r
  Replies (7) Good night (761) Bad night (208)
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  (716): View more from New York

  i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil

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  (716): i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil http://tfl.nu/yi7i
  Replies (1) Good night (206) Bad night (453)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.

  (216): View more from Ohio

  Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.

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  (330): He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success. (216): Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail. http://tfl.nu/s5vp
  Replies (5) Good night (704) Bad night (195)

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