Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore

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  (248): Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore http://tfl.nu/16rg
  Replies (38) Good night (1584) Bad night (2380)
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  (737): View more from Texas

  at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so

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  (737): at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...<div>(1-737): I hope so</div> http://tfl.nu/b6f6
  Replies (6) Good night (1469) Bad night (902)
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  (646): View more from New York

  A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"

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  (646): A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!" http://tfl.nu/psh2
  Replies (10) Good night (2020) Bad night (873)
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"

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  (205): it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!" http://tfl.nu/6ypb
  Replies (14) Good night (2445) Bad night (743)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.

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  (850): I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken. http://tfl.nu/xxkh
  Replies (23) Good night (4607) Bad night (838)
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  (585): View more from New York

  Even the bartender felt bad for me

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  (585): Even the bartender felt bad for me http://tfl.nu/mj4v
  Replies (5) Good night (684) Bad night (5073)
• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  Everything about him screamed your future.

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  (818): Everything about him screamed your future. http://tfl.nu/rljr
  Replies (4) Good night (3294) Bad night (966)
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  (574): View more from Indiana

  how does Santa get into Hogwarts?

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  (574): how does Santa get into Hogwarts? http://tfl.nu/z515
  Replies (48) Good night (6038) Bad night (1013)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.

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  (817): just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing. http://tfl.nu/3pw8
  Replies (18) Good night (5952) Bad night (683)
• Favorite

  (856): View more from New Jersey

  she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.

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  (856): she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name. http://tfl.nu/fuep
  Replies (34) Good night (4528) Bad night (1652)
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  (325): View more from Texas

  This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be

  (325): View more from Texas

  Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets

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  (325): This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be (325): Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets http://tfl.nu/9qmi
  Replies (3) Good night (948) Bad night (1289)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.

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  (850) Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen. http://tfl.nu/kqm3
  Replies (2) Good night (1040) Bad night (488)
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  (714): View more from California

  sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!

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  (714): sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER! http://tfl.nu/av7d
  Replies (9) Good night (1283) Bad night (886)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.

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  (773): The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group. http://tfl.nu/wtka
  Replies (2) Good night (859) Bad night (313)
• Favorite

  (702): View more from Nevada

  Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair

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  (702): Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair http://tfl.nu/ilwv
  Replies (0) Good night (568) Bad night (301)

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