He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?