so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
10+ Incredible Tumblr Stories That Will Leave You Shook
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I AM VODKA MAN
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.