Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
