now i know why i became what i already was.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
someone owes me an orgasm
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
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