I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
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