I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
