I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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