If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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