saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I smell stomach acid.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
