How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
